Warrior Cats: Regrets - Chap11

It was past Sunhigh; the sun was beginning to drop towards the horizon, though the sky was still bright and clear overhead.
Fireheart had just returned to camp after a hunting session with his apprentice, his nephew Cloudpaw, though here was a lot going on in the fiery coloured tomcat's head. Most of it was the anger he was holding back after an argument with his apprentice. The young irresponsible tom had caught a pigeon, but nearly lost it because of his imprudence and his lack of attention. Not only that, but Cloudpaw had showed little respect to the life he was taking away. Of course, Fireheart scolded him for his behaviour, but Cloudpaw had a mind of his own and refused to be taught.
What was harder for Fireheart's conscious was that he felt somewhat responsible for this kit's doing. Not because he was his mentor, but because he was the one bringing the kit into the clan. Cloudpaw was his sister's son, and Fireheart wanted to make her proud, not make her regret her decision. She trusted him. And just to sum it all up, Cloudpaw had yet to return from their hunt. He boldly left his mentor behind with the pigeon he had caught, though Fireheart restrained himself from bringing the prey back with him. The kit had to learn that every kill was important for the clan.
"And if he doesn't bring it back, he'll be denied his share and shall go to sleep with an empty stomach," hissed the angry deputy between clenched teeth. Oh Princess, why is your son so stubborn?
Unfortunately, Fireheart's worries didn't stop there. Not too long after his arrival, he was again challenged by another cat, Darkstripe, who seemed furious to see that the newly appointed deputy had failed to his prior responsibility. Because of the early event with his nephew, Fireheart had completely forgotten to organize the patrols and therefore, missed to send out the Sunhigh patrol. But he tried to reassure them by sending out a patrol right away, to compensate for the Sunhigh one. But as he did, he found himself plucking out names at random for the duty, panic making him stutter between words. Darkstripe and Dustpelt didn't take long to realize that Fireheart had no idea of what he was supposed to do. And as they were about to make him know, Sandstorm stood up and volunteered. The intervention of the senior warrior, Whitestorm, was highly appreciated as well. The patrols were now organized and ready to be executed. Fireheart gritted his teeth. Being a deputy was harder than he had expected. He was already feeling worn out even though the day was still not to its end.

Instinctively, he headed for the fern tunnel that led to the medicine cat's den. Now that Graystripe had left to live in Riverclan, Cinderpelt was the closest friend he had left. But a thought flashed in his head and he quickened his pace through the cool ferns. Has Cleansoul awoken? he wondered, feeling a sudden boost of energy run through him. And as he was about to slip inside the shadowy den, he caught a movement at the entrance which made him stop abruptly in his sprint. His chest heaving, he watched the dark silhouette slowly move towards him. When the Sunlight bathed the form, the grey coat of Cinderpelt was revealed. It was the young medicine cat. As always, he was delighted to see her.
"Cinderpelt?" he called, though he noticed her indifference to his presence. Had she not heard him? There was a large bunch of herbs dangling from her jaws, perhaps masking other smells from her. She blinked, stopping dead on her tracks.
"Oh," Cinderpelt glanced up, surprised. "Fireheart! You're back late."
"Yes, I know," he sighed indignantly. "I failed to send out the Sunhigh patrol at Sunhigh like it normally would have."
"Well," began Cinderpelt as she placed the bunch of herbs down in front of her. "Better late than never."
Fireheart blinked gratefully at her, feeling less heavy by the responsibilities.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with that arrogant little fur-ball."
"Cloudpaw?" Cinderpelt tilted her head.
"That's him," huffed Fireheart.
Cinderpelt simply smiled sympathetically at him and murmured.
"Don't give it too much thought. Cloudpaw isn't any different from other apprentices."
"Well I don't see Brightpaw retorting to her mentor," Fireheart countered before looking away and muttering. "But I guess you're right..."
Cinderpelt touched her nose to his shoulder reassuringly.
"He'll learn," she mewed, pulling away to look up at him again. "Now, I suppose that you're wondering how Cleansoul is doing."
Fireheart's ears pricked.
"She woke up a little before Sunhigh and she has already memorized half of the herbs' effects we have in our supplies. She's a natural. I'm tempted to say that she even knows more than Yellowfang."
"It's not really surprising," he meowed, turning to gaze inside the den. "Bluestar did say that she was blessed with Starclan's knowledge since her youth. And Cleansoul said herself dreaming under their presence."
"Yes, yes. I know..." Cinderpelt flicked her tail.
Fireheart blinked and looked over his shoulder at the grey medicine cat. For a moment, he thought he had sensed a hint of jealousy in the young she-cat's voice, but he lightly shrugged the thought away, thinking that she was probably just a bit envious. Who wouldn't be? Every medicine cat would dream to acquire such a blessing; be bathed under the glory that is Starclan, be granted their wisdom. He concluded his thoughts and turned back to gaze inside the den. He caught a glimpse of white fur in the corner of the enclosure. Peering deeper inside for a better view, he saw how distracted the beautiful white was. She was crouched down with her paws tucked under her figure. Her eyes were fixed ahead, staring absent-mindedly at the wall of twigs and leaves. Fireheart silently pushed the rest of his frame inside the den, her focus still on the wall even though he was preventing most of the light from peering through the entrance.
"Cleansoul?" he meowed quietly, trying not to startle her.
"Hmm?" she emitted, still distracted.
But as he was about to say more, the white she-cat seemed to have realized with a start that someone had actually addressed her. And, with a swift movement of her head, she turned to meet his gaze. Fireheart flinched, stoked by the sudden glint of blue.
"Oh, it's you, Fireheart," she lightly mewed.
He smiled. "How was your first day as a clan cat?"
"It was nice," she replied gently. "There's things I need to get used to... But I did share tongue with Longtail earlier this morning."
Fireheart winced a bit, giving her a sympathetic look, though, she quickly added.
"He's not as bad as you picture him to be, Fireheart," she purred playfully.
Fireheart chuckled softly, shaking his head as he did.
"Let's say that I'm still not entirely used to him being... this kind." He murrowed with laughter, but pushed the subject away as he saw her eyes grow distant again. He gave her a concerned frown before murmuring.
"Is everything all right?" He blinked as she gave him no response. He insisted. "Something wrong?"
"I miss him," she answered quietly.
"Who?"
"Sharkface," she sadly admitted. Her eyes now glistening with contained tears.
Fireheart felt a pang for her. He knew exactly how she was feeling for he missed Graystripe deeply. But he had known Graystripe since they were apprentices while she only knew Sharkface for a moon or two. He could only guess that she had grown very close to the dark warrior during their journey together. But now that he thought of it, he had never asked her what happened to the bulky tom. Since her mission was done, the dark warrior must have probably left to return to his clan. Yes, probably. Cleansoul closed her eyes and slowly let her head hang. She looked so miserable. Fireheart couldn't just stand there and do nothing; she had done so much for them. He wanted to give her something in return for all the things she had sacrificed... And he knew exactly what.
"Hey," he whispered, touching his nose to her cheek. "Would you like to see Ravenpaw?"
Cleansoul immediately swung her head around to stare at him, her eyes wide with surprise.
"Can I?"
"I can take you to him if you want."
She jolted to her paws, her tail swishing behind her form.
"Yes, please."


* * *


The journey to Barley's farm had never been easy with the constant possibility of being suddenly ambushed by Windclan's warriors, making this trip a very risky one. But it was the only way to see Ravenpaw, since the young tomcat had escaped the threats from his mentor, Tigerclaw, by hiding in the ranch. Everyone presumed him dead. Well, not any more. After the exile of Tigerclaw, Fireheart revealed the truth to the clan. The name of the warrior was not a secret any more.
"And this is the safest way around?" teased Cleansoul, a purr vibrating through her throat.
The wind was blowing weakly across Windclan's field, carrying both cats' scents away from their enemies. The barn was located on the edge of their territory, though they had to travel along Thunderpath while hiding in the ferns whenever a monster came rushing past them. At least the trees were shielding them from harm.
Fireheart chuckled softly, looking over his shoulder at the beautiful white.
"It's better than getting spotted by an angry patrol. Trust me, with all the monsters passing by, our scent will most likely be drowned out by them, and we won't have to worry about being heard, either."
Cleansoul blinked. "But why would they be angry? We're just crossing. We're not doing any harm."
"Let's say they weren't too pleased with us sheltering Brokentail."
Cleansoul glanced up in deep thoughts. She remembered Raggedstar's words about the exiled tomcat. Brokentail was already dead when she had shared dreams with the Riverclan's leader, Crookedstar. Therefore, her trip to Shadowclan had been cancelled since no leader could have welcomed her with her message, with the new prophecy. She frowned, wondering why Windclan was still angry if Brokentail was now gone, or were they still unaware of his death? If so, why keep it a secret?
"We're here."
Fireheart's voice snapped Cleansoul out of her thoughts. She looked at him with round eyes, almost hopeful.
"Really?" she gasped, her fur pricking with anticipation.

In front of them stood a large barn where a damaged Twolegnest was situated nearby. Cleansoul inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the strong smell of hay.
"Ravenpaw lives here?" she asked, her heart thudding.
Fireheart nodded sharply, feeling reward with the glow sparkling in her eyes.
"Come on, Barley's barn is just up ahead." He bounded towards the wooden building.
"Barley?" grunted Cleansoul as she followed in a steady pace.
"Someone called?" answered a rasping but gravel voice.
A muscular tomcat slowly emerged out from the entrance of the barn, his black and white coat quite distinctive. Cleansoul stood still, her eyes blinking.
"It's me, Barley," meowed Fireheart, padding in front of the bulky tom.
"Fireheart?" the tom cocked his head to one side. "I wasn't expecting you here. Is there something wro-- Why hello there," Barley suddenly changed the subject. His concern look changing into a more relaxed one.
Cleansoul ducked her head a bit, shuffling her paws timidly on the ground.
"Barley," Fireheart began as he beckoned Cleansoul closer with his tail. "This is Cleansoul, a new member of Thunderclan. Cleansoul, this is Barley. He lives here with Ravenpaw."
Cleansoul dipped her head politely, though the black and white tomcat replied to her gesture with a grave chuckle.
"No need to be so formal around here, little miss," he purred. "So you're here to speak with Ravenpaw I 'sppose?"
Fireheart nodded lightly. He opened his mouth to answer, but a distant feminine voice cut him off, blowing both cats off their feet, startled, while Barley simply flicked an ear.
"Barley? I thought you said Ravenpaw would be back before evening."
Both Cleansoul and Fireheart flashed a surprised look inside the barn. A black silhouette on top of a large haystack, it was the only thing they could make out in the darkness of the barn.
"He said he'd be out for a quick stroll. He'll be back soon," Barley answered with a chuckle, shaking his head in amusement.
Fireheart shot the tom a look.
"Who's she?" he whispered, tilting his head.
"Oh, that's right, you don't know!" exploded the tom, a low purr rumbling in his throat. "But I don't know if I should tell you. Ravenpaw might like to inform you himself. But I can see your eyes growing like an owl's so I might tell you."
Fireheart felt like swiping the tom's words out. He was rambling, and the suspense was just unbearable. Though.. for some reason, Fireheart's heart began to thud quickly in his chest. What was the big news about? Surely it was about Ravenpaw, but what could it be? Barley lightly cleared his throat before finally speaking.
"Tell him your congratulations cause Ravenpaw's a father."
Once again, both cats were blown off their feet. Fireheart exhaled a loud gasp before whipping around to face the black and white tomcat, who seemed amused by their reactions.
"What?!"
Barley grinned. "I was surprised myself," he laughed. "But seems like love worked out. It's a she-cat who has taken shelter in our barn during the cold season. A lot of cats come to my barn for shelter when the days are to harsh. They come here to sleep and replenish their energy before leaving. I don't mind, but this she-cat caught Ravenpaw's eyes."
Fireheart was still in shock. He hadn't visited the young warrior for a long time and the last thing he expected to hear was that Ravenpaw... was a father. This news seemed to have shaken Fireheart quite a bit. Of course, he was thrilled to hear that Ravenpaw had a mate and offspring. But, what about him? Graystripe was also a father. For a moment, the fiery tomcat felt a little pang of jealousy but he couldn't let that get to him. It was wonderful news and he was overjoyed for his friend.
"...And since that day, she never left the barn. " Barley concluded, his whiskers twitching.
"Fireheart!" exclaimed a familiar voice from behind them. All three heads turned around to stare with round eyes at the upcoming cat.

It was a sleek black tomcat with a dash of white on his chest and a white tipped tail. A cheerful look was displaying on the tom's face, but as his emerald gaze locked themselves in a gaze of blue, the cheerful expression was replaced with a shocked one in a heartbeat. His ears flattened on his head and he gaped, disbelievingly. Cleansoul whirled around, now facing the black tom. The silence stretched as though time had stopped. Fireheart exchanged a quick eye shift with Barley before focusing back to the two unmoved frames.
"D-Duchess?!" stuttered Ravenpaw, his mouth still slightly open.
"Duchess?" Both toms exchanged another glance.
Cleansoul heaved a long sigh of relief, her eyes glistening with affection. She felt her heart soar. He still remembered her name!
"Ravenpaw, I can't believe it. It really is you. My dear friend. You have no idea how much I've missed you."
Ravenpaw was still taken aback, his eyes unblinking and unreadable.
"Duchess," he repeated, finally coming back to his senses. His eyes blinked furiously, his mind whirling.
"So, Duchess was your kittypet name," Fireheart meowed, attracting some of the attention on him. Ravenpaw looked at him, his stare a little too piercing.
"You brought her here?" asked the black briskly.
Fireheart hesitated a bit. His eyes shifting quickly from side to side before he answered with a soft, "Yes... Yes I did."
"WHY?!" snapped Ravenpaw, the fur along his spine standing on ends.
Fireheart jerked a little, taken aback by his sudden response. Wasn't Ravenpaw happy to see her? The same thought flashed in the beautiful white's eyes as she stared at him, her blissful expression breaking apart. Her gaze, clouded with hurt. Fireheart narrowed his eyes, determined to know why Ravenpaw was acting so displeased by her presence.
"I don't know," he countered, his teeth bared. "Maybe because she's your friend and she was worried sick about you? She hasn't seen you for such a long time."
Ravenpaw shook his head and started to pace repeatedly back and forth. Fireheart gritted his teeth, feeling more and more irritated by his friend's behavior.
"What's wrong with you? She just wanted to make sure you were all right. You know, I had to lie to her and tell her you were dead when she first came to Thunderclan. You don't have the slightest idea of how hard it could have been on her, to think that her so good friend was dead."
Ravenpaw stopped abruptly on his tracks, his eyes wide with horror.
"You took her all the way to Thunderclan?!"
Fireheart gaped, unable to find the right words to explain everything that had happened.
"Are you crazy or what?!" yowled Ravenpaw. "This forest is no place for a she-cat like her!"
Like me?
"Especially not Thunderclan."
B-but, I thought you wanted me to be part of your clan.
"She's too delicate, too fragile for this cruel world. The wild has no pity for the weak and soft, Fireheart. Do you understand? She's not like you."
The weak and soft...
"And it's even worst now. Tigerclaw is probably still roaming around Thunderclan's territory. Fireheart, what were you thinking?!"
Cleansoul shook her head, her heart sinking the more she listened to him. His words, so harsh, so unlike the Ravenpaw she once knew.
"You have to take her back!" insisted Ravenpaw, his paws trembling with fear.
Fireheart blinked, still shaken from all the shouting. He started to wonder if bringing Cleansoul here was the right thing to do. All he wanted was to cheer her up, but now, she was even more broken than she was before she came here. He even started to freak out himself, Ravenpaw's agitation catching up to him. But another thought popped inside Fireheart's head; he hadn't gotten the approval of his leader to take Cleansoul all the way here. Cleansoul wasn't a warrior, she couldn't defend herself from an attack and Tigerclaw was indeed still a threat to them all. Fireheart bristled, his eyes wide in panic.
"Okay then. I guess we'll be leaving now."
Ravenpaw's shoulders relaxed and he blinked gratefully at Fireheart.
"I'm sorry Fireheart. I know you meant well. I am very surprised and pleased to have seen her," he paused to look at the white she-cat, though she didn't return his glance. "But danger is everywhere and I don't want anything bad to happen to any of you. If I heard that something happened because of me, I'd be devastated."
Fireheart sighed, feeling like a real mouse-brain.
"Yes, I understand. It was good to see you though and, congratulations."
Ravenpaw blinked for a moment, but his eyes lightly lit up and he leaped to his paws.
"Barley told you?"
Fireheart didn't need to answer the question that already, Ravenpaw had flushed red, his ears burning. He shuffled his paws on the soil, a smile creeping up his lips.
"Yes. I'm a proud father of a single kit."
Fireheart smiled, resting his tail briefly onto his friend's shoulder. Ravenpaw nodded slightly, before meowing.
"It's always good to see you, Fireheart. And thank you."


Back in the forest, Bluestar stood rigid on her spot, a paw lifted in mid air while she flared the air agitatedly. Her ears swivelling in all the directions. The sound of rustling leaves startled the leader out of her concentration and she whirled around, facing the upcoming presence.
"Bluestar," came the rasping voice of the elderly she-cat, Yellowfang, who had just appeared as the leaves parted to reveal her dark, ragged figure.
Bluestar instantly shifted her attention away, all of her senses working at once. Yellowfang heaved a sigh as her eyes settled on the blue Russian, quickly catching up with her.
"Bluestar, what has gotten into you?"
"Tigerclaw. He's still in the forest, even though I have exiled him," Bluestar hissed, the agitation present in her tone. "Couldn't you smell him?!" She flashed a look at the elderly she-cat, but didn't give her the chance to answer, lightly adding, "Of course you couldn't. Your scent glands are filled with these herbs of yours, and that's exactly how we end up in the middle of an assault. For lack of concentration. Incompetence," she scornfully ended.
Yellowfang forced herself not to bite down in the neatly wrapped leaf that was clamped between her jowls. Bluestar's scars from the attack were clearly still healing. Of course she didn't mean it, she was still shaken by the past events. That's the only thing Yellowfang could think of to explain her leader's sudden anger.
"If you're that worried about Tigerclaw, then why are you wasting your time looking for him in the forest? He could be anywhere. Make sure he's not at camp first--"
"Camp!" Yowled Bluestar, swinging around before sprinting into the nearest bush, heading straight towards Thunderclan's camp. Bluestar had grown incredibly unpredictable. She could snap at anything, at anyone. She ducked under the canopy of leaves, bounded swiftly over any obstacles stretching in her way. Nothing was going to slow her down. The numerous branches scratched her skin and ripped the fur off as she brushed passed them. Her eyes dilated in alarm. She could be late, she could be too late! She could already hear the cries of war ringing in her ears, the wails of kittens being brutally snatched from their mothers, a motionless figure crossly thrown in the middle of the clearing. White pelt tinted red. Bluestar exploded out of the foliage and into the clearing of Thunderclan's camp. Her flanks heaving heavily, her breath coming out in gasps. The few gathered cats fell silent as their round eyes turned to their agitated leader. Bluestar gasped for breath, her brows furrowing, eyes shifting at the scene around her. But, the war she had imagine slowly vanished from her eyes. Red turned green, injured cats turned healthy again. Had she simply imagined all that?
"Bluestar," called Yellowfang as she finally caught up with her leader. She halted by her side and placed the wrapped leaf down to speak.
"You see?" There's no need to panic. You've exiled him, he's not coming back," she panted.
Bluestar allowed the fur on her shoulders to lay flat, her muscles relaxing from the tension. She nodded, giving the medicine cat an apologetic glance.
"Bluestar, Yellowfang, you're back," purred Cinderpelt as she limped towards them. "Brindleface told me that her kits were ready to become apprentices."
Bluestar smiled. "That's great news. I'll be holding their ceremony once the evening patrol arrives."
"Great, I'll go tell Brindleface then."
"Wait," called Bluestar, taking a few steps closer of the small medicine cat. "Have you done what I've asked?"
Cinderpelt turned to glance up at her leader, her chest puffed out.
"Yes I did," she boasted.
"How did it go?"
"Smoothly. She's very clever, she was able to tell me half of the herbs' effects by heart."
Bluestar purred her delight. "That's what I like to hear. What is she doing right now?"
"I'm not really sure," blinked Cinderpelt.
"You don't know?" echoed Bluestar a little amused.
"Well, she's with Fireheart. He wanted to show her something," shrugged Cinderpelt.
"And where's Fireheart?" The leader's voice deepened.
"Ugh... he's..." Cinderpelt hesitated as she caught the glimpse of annoyance building in her leader's narrowed gaze. "He'll... be back soon!"
"He left camp? With Cleansoul? At this time of day?!"
Cinderpelt reclined to her haunches, her ears flattened against her skull.
"No, he left a little past Sunhigh. He must be on his way back."
"Incompetent! I give you one, easy, single task and you find a way to fail me?!"
Cinderpelt shrunk down. Bluestar glared down on her, her eyes piercing though the medicine cat like a thorn to her heart.
"Bluestar, what's the problem?"
Bluestar whipped around, her eyes fixed on Whitestorm. The tom had just returned from his patrol, Longtail and Swiftpaw close behind him. Bluestar straightened herself, padding to a stop in front of the senior warrior.
"Have you seen Fireheart or Cleansoul on the way back or during your patrol?" she asked firmly.
Whitestorm blinked, confused.
"No, we haven't."
Bluestar gritted her teeth.
"Then I want you to go back and search for them. Go past Fourtrees if you have to."
"But we were just out there," meowed Swiftpaw indignantly.
"Yes, and you didn't even smelled them! Is my clan this incompetent that they can't even smell their own clan-mates?!" yowled Bluestar in outrage.
Whitestorm flashed Swiftpaw a stern look before meowing solemnly.
"Yes, Bluestar." And with that, the patrol turned around and charged out of camp.
"And Cleansoul better be with them. You told her that you'll respect her decision. Can't Starclan be trusted any more?" Bluestar sneered scornfully, her glare shot to the sky.
Behind her, Yellowfang stared at her, the elderly she-cat's eyes unreadable. Bluestar is still not healed. Cleansoul is only a cover over her open wounds. Our leader is still on the edge of madness. Oh, Starclan, what would become of our leader if Cleansoul left to join your ranks?
　

The sun had already settled, its rays faintly piercing through the horizon. Fireheart looked up at the sky, Cleansoul beside him, and a gap between the two that he didn't dare to fill. After leaving the barn, no words had been spoken. He felt guilty. All he had wanted was to make her feel better. He thought that Ravenpaw would have been thrilled to see her... But he was wrong and now, Cleansoul was even more miserable than before. His shoulders sagged, and he winced as Ravenpaw's words echoed in his head.
'What were you thinking?!'
"I'm sorry, Cleansoul."
Cleansoul turned to look at him, her expression blank, lacking of emotion.
"You don't need to apologize, you've done nothing wrong."
"Yes... but," Fireheart sighed, though he was silenced as her gaze softened and a small smile stretched on her face. He smiled back.
A sudden movement on a nearby bush made Fireheart swung around. He froze, his heart pounding as a familiar scent was captured in his nostrils. At first, he was a little confused as he couldn't identify the smell. It was awfully familiar, but no name came to mind. Though, as a dark brown coat emerged from the foliage, Fireheart felt chilled to the bone. Tigerclaw.
"Cleansoul," whispered Fireheart as he stepped protectively in front of the she-cat. "Go back to camp, now."
"What?" Cleansoul blinked, oblivious to the danger just a few tail-lengths in front of them.
Deep amber eyes gleamed at them. Fireheart gritted his teeth, they had been spotted. Cleansoul lightly shrunk back, her eyes blinking in alarm. Teeth glinted in a rumble of a snarl. They had truly been spotted. Fireheart cursed under his breath. Now it was clear. If Cleansoul was hurt tonight, it would be all his fault. He should have never taken her to see Ravenpaw. The black loner was right, what was he thinking? Fireheart crouched down, his claws unsheathed and his teeth bared.
Starclan, help us.